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As a kid, I asked myself “why do
I need to choose this from that when I can have them all. I felt like I would
grow up and become ‘every man’. A little of a journalist, graphic designer,
teacher and every other profession I loved. The truth is that I wanted to be
good at all of them and it actually affected my concentration on a particular
thing. I am not a jack of all trades and master of none anyway.
Monogamy is an imposition, a law
that was designed to bring out the best in man. It is another form of
specialization that was aimed at making men enjoy a particular thing
monotonously for the short time they would be living on earth. It lets them to
be good at it and also develop ways to bring out the best in the women.
Someone who has been a good Mechanic
for 30 years will surely be among the best mechanics ever known before
retirement because he must have developed ways to get better in what he does.
The same way you see that a man who has been a good husband for 30 years, is
usually known as one of the best husbands.
King Solomon is often seen as the
father of polygamy and one would be wondering how he really concentrated with
that scary number of women in his household and under his majestic control.
Women are usually seen as distractions when you have them in great numbers but
a very low number like just one gives lots of peace of mind. Solomon had the
grace of God to be like no man that will ever be, you can never be anywhere
like him no matter how hard you try. After all whom the Lord has blessed and
endowed with wisdom, you don’t challenge or envy.
In some countries, polygamy is
constitutionally wrong depending on the form of marriage a man decides to take
up, but in other places, it is ‘just’ morally wrong. Yet you don’t find these
moral issues captured in any written constitution.
This is not supposed to be a
religious article, but because we are mostly Ghanaian and Africans, I want us
to look at Matthew 19:1-12 and 22:23-32, where Jesus only talked about divorce.
The fact that the New Testament centered mostly on the works of Jesus and His
disciples, it never mentioned the family structure of some great men who lived
then.
We only quote Old Testament when
we want Abraham’s blessings, Solomon’s wealth and David’s grace, not on some
subjects like polygamy.
When we grow up, we will
understand the difference between the laws of God and that of the Church
[doctrines].
It should be a thing of choice
and I think any man who is planning on living a polygamous life should discuss it
with the first woman he would be getting married to. She deserves to know that
in a very short time, she would be sharing the warmth of her man with yet
another. She also needs to understand that if she takes your ring, she would
one day have to face another woman in the house and if you turn out to be very
polygamous, she would have to face many others and just remain as the
ceremonial first wife that will usually accompany the husband to most of his
official functions.
I have seen men who want to marry
because they need a wife and not for a companionship and most ladies also fall
in that area. The ladies don’t really care what their man does; they always
have the consolation that men are polygamous in nature. That is nonsense
though.
Marriage in the church should be
between a man and a woman. But hypocrisy at times makes us see married men
being allowed to hold a wedding ceremony with just one of their wives. Are we
telling God to bless one and curse the others?
Polygamy is an orientation and
also in most cases a child of circumstances. Men call it their right and I
don’t really doubt it because it is the reason why a married man will still be
attracted to other women. It is the only justification for infidelity and the
fact still remains that before man chooses the second wife, he must have dated
about ten others when the wife is at home in the cold.
A meme is saw recently says:
“Women are like mango, orange, banana, pawpaw, pineapple, but the problem is
men love fruit salad”
If you sort it out with your first
wife before marriage to be polygamous, it will be very good for you; else I
think it is betrayal. It’s like coming home to realize that what you have in
the box is not what you ordered for in the market and I hail women who have
been handling this seeming betrayal for many years.
Men should somehow come up and be
more courageous in marriage instead of sneaking around behind the backs of
their wives. We are just lucky women don’t sue men for infidelity in this part
of the world.
It is morally and constitutionally
wrong to go against a contract.
A monogamous man, thinks of
nothing but his wife and children, he has no secret to worry about and will
surely have time for his wife, children and friends. Women need time, they are
like horses, if you don’t ride them, and they are just like another animal
roaming.
Imagine if all those love, money,
attention go to one woman and her children, it will simply make her
irreplaceable and also make you live a life void of guilt and regrets as a
result of your extra marital activities.
If you want to be polygamous, get
the license from the first woman and you are good to go.
It never ends here, that’s the
man we are, every man.
Charles McCarthy is a Freelancer and
blogs@www.pointoflaww.blogspot.com
